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What Couples Can Learn From Gomez and Morticia Addams. I’m not a fan of love stories.

I realize this sounds odd coming from someone who teaches people how make others fall in love with them, but stay with me for a moment here. The most famous, beloved love stories of all time all end in the death of one or both of the lovers. Tristian and Isolde, Romeo and Juliet, Oliver Barrett and Jenny Cavalleri, Jack and Rose, Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy, even modern books like John Green’s The Fault In Our Stars focuses on the tragedy of loss like a literary cheat code to make the love more poignant. Oh, um… spoiler alert. Meanwhile the love stories that don’t end in death tend to end with “and then they got together”.

We get some final confirmation of their (implied) happily ever after – a wedding, an ironic repeat of dialogue from earlier in the story, something – and then the screen fades and the credits roll. It’s all very sweet… but we’re fetishizing the early days of love, when it’s all fresh and new and exciting. We rarely see a celebration of an old love – one that has withstood the test of time and has only been made stronger. Which is why the love story I truly appreciate is the story of Gomez and Morticia Addams. When they were introduced to television the 6.

In fact, whether in the 6. Gomez and Morticia are, in many ways, the perfect couple… and many couples could learn how to make love last by following their example. They Make An Effort.

One of the things that makes a new relationship so exciting is that “new relationship energy”. Everything is new and amazing and everything about our partner is fascinating. But what’s even more intoxicating is that with a new partner, we start to see ourselves through their eyes; in many ways, we see ourselves the way we wish we could be seen.

It’s an electrifying experience and it inspires us to try even harder. Put more effort in our appearance. We plan more elaborate and exciting dates. We give them little gifts just because we want to see them smile.

But in any relationship, habituation sets in. That initial rush of oxytocin fades away and the intensity of the initial relationship dwindles as you and your lover become more accustomed to one another. The new and exotic has become familiar, the novel is no longer exciting. You start to relax, and in doing so, well, your standards start to slide a little. You aren’t as worried about looking your best. You aren’t as worried that about what they’ll think of you when they hear you fart or see you first thing in the morning before you’ve had your coffee. You don’t work as hard at dating and those nights out have become evenings in.

Once you got dressed to the nines to take on the city nightlife; now you’re both in your “couldn’t give a shit” sweats with an Agents of S. H. I. E. L. D marathon waiting for you on the DVR. This never happened with Gomez and Morticia. Through decades of marriage and even two kids, they haven’t settled. They make a concerted effort to look good for each other, even when they’re planning a quiet night at home, watching the best comedies Chiller has to offer. They still treat their relationship as though they were on their first date – putting their best face forward for one another and bringing the best out in each other. This serves to actually make them happier with one another than if they’d let things slide; the opportunity to show off has actually been proven to make us feel better about ourselves.

By simply making an effort, Gomez and Morticia help create a positive feedback loop that keeps the magic in the relationship. Speaking of effort though…It’s Not Work, It’s an Investment.

One of the cliches about relationships is that they take “work”. If your relationship is failing, then clearly you’re not working hard enough.

And once you absorb this metaphor it becomes clear that you’re just never of the clock. Any relationship past a certain point becomes a job and you’re pulling a double shift at the factory every day; – soul- sucking drudgery that eats away our time a little each day until we’re one step closer to the grave. You Can`T Kill Stephen King Movie Watch Online on this page. Small wonder then, that we see the effort necessary to maintain long- term relationships as tedium, forcing ourselves into the coal mines and the foundries trying to keep the relationship going despite never having time off to stop and enjoy the fruits of your labors.

That way lies bitterness and resentment, no? But look at Gomez and Morticia and you see another way of seeing things. After all, it’s clear that neither of them see maintaining their relationship as work… but at the same time, it’s not effortless either. That’s because they don’t see it as work; they see putting the effort into maintaining their relationship as an investment. It’s not a job as much as it is a garden – something that yes, does needs tending, but the results make the work all worthwhile. And more importantly, the tending of that garden is often satisfying in and of itself. When you watch Gomez and Morticia together, it’s clear that they take pleasure even in the little things that help keep them together.

Those little gestures of affection – tiny signs that they still care for one another – take little effort but offer incredible payoffs in terms of keeping the intimacy and devotion front and center in their relationship. When they take time to themselves, they don’t miss an opportunity to remind one another of just what it was that brought them together in the first place. Morticia: “When we first met years ago, it was an evening much like this. Magic in the air. A boy.”Gomez: “A girl.”Morticia: “An open grave.

It was my first funeral.”Gomez: “You were so beautiful. Pale and mysterious.

No one even looked at the corpse.”They stay in communication. They share their dreams and concerns with one another. They take care of one another, making each other’s well- being a priority. When the Addams are left homeless and penniless in The Addams Family movie, Morticia takes on a job to support the family without another word. Gomez, on the other hand, goes out of his way to help his precious Tish any way he can when she’s starting to feel overwhelmed by the stress of their new child in Addams Family Values.

And this is important because…They’re A Team.